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{S}he’s a Kicking: 32 Weeks

I tell ya. I hesitated to write this post today.

1. I was afraid of being that pregnant mom. You know, the one who only talks about babies. I can talk teenagers but then I would scare ALL THE PEOPLE from ever having another baby. So. Quandry.

2. I was afraid that there might be a mom reading who has suffered a loss and this post would just make her heart hurt in ways that I can’t possibly imagine.

And then I remembered. Life is to be celebrated. Revered. Shared. Talked about. Everyone has their hell, their cross to bear. I don’t know what my next one will be, but the prematurity cross the last time we bore was mighty heavy. This time, our “boring pregnancy” has become a huge source of gratitude for our entire family. Please know I share all this with you because of one little, but mighty powerful, word: LOVE.

32 weeks. This was another biggie of a milestone. On Monday, we had our final visit with maternal fetal medicine. Just four years ago, I saw Dr. H weekly. This time around, I’ve seen him three times. Three. That’s just crazy. When he asked how the pregnancy was going, I said, “Boring!” To which he replied, “That’s the way we like them.” Sing it Sam. He did the usual probe of brain, heart and amniotic fluid levels. I even saw that wand skip over hands and feet, femurs and bowels. Yes, that’s when you know you’ve seen a billion and one ultrasounds when you can identify body parts with the doctor! Don’t worry, nothing was seen (or not seen) that would reveal the gender. Whew. We didn’t make it 32 weeks to blow the surprise now!

At the end of the visit, we asked Dr. H if we could take a photo of him with Luke. “You sure you want this ugly face in the photo?” he said. “Of course, it’s a face we’ll never forget,” I replied. And then there was this.

dr h, luke, blog_001

For as long as my heart beats, I will never forget this man.

And then he held out his arms wide and gave Scott and I a hug. He even busted out with a “God bless you.” And I barely held it together as we walked out the door. Luke waved, we headed to the car and drove home. But, not before waving and praying for those sweet babies in the NICU as we drove past my delivering hospital. It was a surreal, but gratitude-filled morning indeed.

So here we are. 32 weeks. I chatted delivery options with my OB/GYN yesterday. We’re going with the “let’s see what the baby does” birth plan, praying for self-induced labor rather than a c-section. Come on uterus. Don’t let me down! My blood pressure continues to be good, weight gain was nil this week (a miracle with all that Blue Bell I’ve been eating) and the baby’s heartbeat was strong. Can’t ask for more than that.

The ick is the heartburn. Oh well. There are worse things. I’ve been told I look small, but I surely don’t feel that way.

Scott just laughed, though, when I told him that I wished I could be pregnant longer. Who even says that? Me, evidently. I think for many months, years even, I thought I might never carry another baby to term again. Now that I’m so close, all I can think of is to live in the moment. To embrace the waddle. Love the big clothes. Cherish the pregnancy hair. Tuck away each memory of the baby kicks.

Here’s to the most boring pregnancy ever.

 

13 Comments

  1. Nicole on March 6, 2014 at 8:14 am

    What a beautiful post and update, K. So much to celebrate! I got a big smile with your last paragraph… I’m just like you – always wanting a pregnancy to last and beginning to miss it before it ever ends. There was a time we thought I might never ever give birth, so I’m grateful for that I’ve been blessed with that journey, too! Enjoy these final weeks! A big hug from Indiana!

  2. Claire on March 6, 2014 at 8:18 am

    Kathryn, it’s so sweet of you to be concerned about those of us who have experienced losses. I have only been pregnant a total of 11 weeks in my entire life, but even that short experience was enough to make me aware that it is natural for pregnant women to be very consumed with their pregnancies and to want to talk about them. And you’re so right that each baby and each pregnancy is something to be celebrated. I’m glad that it is going well for you,

  3. Nicole on March 6, 2014 at 8:35 am

    Love the photo. Love the concern you share for others. Keep cooking, mama! You are getting so close!

  4. Michelle F. on March 6, 2014 at 8:46 am

    We are so overjoyed for you. A shout out from Indiana for an awesome remainder of the pregnancy. Oh…and as for that birth, today’s readings all were about not worrying…so don’t worry (yeah, now if I could just take my own advice). God has just the right birth already planned for you and baby. Blessings!

  5. Bea on March 6, 2014 at 9:30 am

    I think it does a heart good to see how wonderfully boring life can be. For the longest time after Caleb, I couldn’t exhale when close friends got pregnant. I prayed feverantly that they would have healthy babies and be spared the nightmare we lived. Each time I see a perfectly healthy baby, I cry out of gratitude and wonder all the billion things that went right to create that miracle. It’s just a different perspective- it’s good to enjoy and celebrate with you how boring this pregnancy has been. And may sweet baby Whitaker come at boring 40 weeks!!!

  6. Anna Jessup on March 6, 2014 at 11:33 am

    What a beautiful post! Love that you show concern for others who have lost. We lost our 3rd child at 20 weeks. When we got pregnant again nothing was better than our “boring” pregnancy. Like you I celebrated every milestone, kick, and once of heartburn. I never thought I would carry a baby to term again, but she is here and happy and healthy! Many prayers for you and your growing baby! Congrats on 32 weeks!!

  7. Verdina on March 6, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Just beautiful! Enjoy every moment and… don’t worry! I have Padre Pio’s “Pray, Hope, Don’t Worry” around my neck. It’s a great reminder.

    Love you all!
    V

  8. Tricia on March 6, 2014 at 12:54 pm

    I’m so so happy for you! Three cheers for a “boring” pregnancy!

  9. Stacy on March 6, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    Hooray for a boring pregnancy! It is definitely a reason to celebrate. If I remember correctly, Dr. H is the one who delivered my little sister when she was born, 27 years ago, yesterday. But the really strange one was going to the fertility doctor, and finding out he was the doctor who delivered me. Funny how it comes full circle.

  10. Tess on March 6, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    Oh, Kathryn, this is so sweet! I know just how you feel of enjoying being pregnant, even while being large and dealing with aches and pains. I’m 33 weeks myself so I’m right there with you. 🙂

  11. Kris on March 6, 2014 at 5:14 pm

    Yay for a boring pregnancy! Enjoy every last bit of it. I know exactly how you feel with savoring every last kick 🙂 I was like that with my first because there was a very good chance she would be an only. Now as I near 30 weeks with a second blessing, I am doing the same thing. It’s such a wonderful experience to be able to carry a child. And having ridden the infertility roller coaster, I am fully aware that there are many women who never get to enjoy this blessing. And my heart breaks for those who want to and can’t. Here’s to a boring and enjoyable last two months for you and baby Whitaker 🙂

  12. […] “Perfect. PERFECT!” Dr. H (my maternal fetal medicine doctor), about the growing baby in my belly. More deets here. […]

  13. TracyE on March 7, 2014 at 5:02 am

    Boring is a blessing indeed!! May your last 8 weeks continue to be a snoozer!!!

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