Does Parenthood Get Easier?
The answer is probably something like “yes” and “no.”
Certainly, when Luke and prematurity entered into the parenthood scenario that shook things up a bit. You know, because as a dear priest friend reminded us, “God came to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable…and you people are too comfortable!”
Love me some Fr. Richard.
But, as a budding middle schooler begins to emerge this year and as two move up the ranks of elementary school and yet another one melts down everyday at 5pm because kindergarten is so hard – I’m left wondering. Does parenthood get easier or harder?
Physically, when the littles are little, parenthood is brutal. The picking up – kids and toys, the changing diapers, the holding a squirming octopus during Mass, the buckling in carseats, the wiping hineys and noses, the bathing, the cutting up food. All of it. I remember my arms and neck and back and legs hurting. All the time.
Emotionally, though, that’s a tougher one to manage. As Will enters middle school he’s developing a sarcastic streak. Yeah, proud parenting moment. I just have to teach him the comedic timing between sarcastic and witty. It’s a fine line, you know. Thankfully, girls aren’t his thing right now. He still gives me a kiss in the van before leaving for school, yet he rolls his eyes when I ask to walk him to class. All normal, but we are in a weird place.
I sometimes freak out when I realize that these memories we are making, he’s going to remember. He will remember me wigging out over the spilled milk. He will remember asking for my help in English and then making a 100 on said assignment. {I do have my redeeming moments} He will remember me taking him to Mass. Taking him to reconciliation. Carting him to this and that activity.
But what do *I* want him to remember? I want him to remember a mom who loves him. I want him to know that even though I may yell and scream, I always have his best interests closest to my heart. I want him to know how to iron a shirt and set the dining room table. I want him to know how to treat a lady and make his own dang bed. I want him to love God, trust his instincts and be a faithful follower of Christ.
I mostly want him to remember the very best moments of his childhood, not because I told him they happened but because they were so awesome he never wants to forget.
Beautifully said! Sounds just like my “new” relationship with my oldest, a 12 year old son. He’s cuddly and sweet one minute, then sarcastic and pulling pranks the next.
You’re right though, having them around during tough “mom” moments is a little like having a video recording of my worst moments…he will remember the yelling, but definitely not the milk-soaked cushion that was ruined!
They are here to keep us in check!
I love your blog…we have similar lives, 5 kids in Catholic school, 12 yr old boy, 10 yr old boy, 7 yr old boy, 4 yr old girl and 2 yr old boy.
Here’s to hoping our sons move into the next chapter of their lives with as much simplicity and comfort as possible…always being able to come home to mom, a smile and FOOD!
I love this post. It is so true to what parenting is… a marathon, not a sprint. You are right, in the beginning it is physically draining, this is where I currently reside in my marathon. Getting warmed up and a little achey. The middle is where you start to hit your wall, and the race becomes more about the head and the heart rather than the aches and pains of muscles. I’m not there yet, but I’m hoping I learn enough along the way so my kids remember too.
sigh — Oh, honey. I feel the aches for you, since I’m a little farther down the road with my oldest.
My oldest daughter is graduating from high school this year, and I know NOTHING in her eyes. Sigh. It’s brutal. Lots and lots of prayer.