We got off to a really crummy start here at Casa Whitaker this morning. We all have days like that, don’t we? Sometimes I think it’s easier to “roll with it” when it happens later in the day. You’re warmed up, you know? Say the day starts out great and then at lunch someone spills their milk. You expect it. I mean, you’ve made it to noon before crazy hit. Score one for Mom. But when it happens right out of the gate, when the terrible, no good is how you say “good morning” it just really makes you want to crawl back in bed and scream: DO OVER!
So, here’s the deal. There is a mom inside of me that is itching to come out. But the yelly, “passionate” mom ahead of her is keeping her down. I want to be more loving, more patient, more faithful and more purposeful in how I interact with my children. I’m not sure how my children know how to get me from 0 to 60 in less than a nanosecond, but they do. I suspect yours do, too. How do I tame the crazy lady who starts spinning out of control to a rational, calm, semi-balanced mom who loves her kids?
That’s my biggest struggle today. To be present enough in the moment that I can see the day is more than just that really horrible few seconds. To understand that my kids are going to screw up, just like their mom, and they want a do over sometimes, too. I want to be faithful enough to call on help, to ask for Mary’s intercession or the grace of God to enter into my heart before I open my mouth. The thing is, that doesn’t happen overnight. Baby steps, right? Maybe I start with whispering instead of yelling or excusing myself from the room to vent in a dark closet before I return to my children.
Truth of the matter? I’m determined to be a mom in whom I would be proud. Motherhood is a journey. In God’s wisdom, he called me to the vocation of motherhood. He knew I’d be good at it, I just don’t always believe HE was thinking straight when He did that. I try to go it alone. Try to do it my way. That never ends well and I usually end up babbling to the blog, shedding a few tears and finding God on the Internet. Who knew?
With every child, every life experience, every school project and paper, every sports game, every broken toy, every spilled glass of milk, every tantrum, I am learning to let go. I am learning to get ruffled less and cry out to God more. Perhaps that’s what He wanted all along. Perhaps my children ARE my prayer life. They are purifying me so I am ready for heaven (God willing) when it comes. That’s a humbling revelation, y’all. We work so hard to bring out the best in our children and yet we bring out the worst in ourselves. When really, shouldn’t we be extracting the worst from our children to bring out the best in ourselves? As we teach them the difficult lessons of patience and kindness, love and respect we have to dig deep, don’t we? I know I do. The lesson of patience only comes from trials. The lesson of kindness only comes from anger. The lesson of love only comes from hate. The lesson of respect only comes from disrespect.
And the lesson of obedience only comes from humility.
Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.