About a year and a half ago, I had a long conversation with someone I trusted. Someone I admired. Someone that provided beautiful spiritual counsel to me.
And through the course of that conversation, she said something that has lingered on my heart for far too long: “You need to walk away from sharing your life publicly. You need to stop writing.”
I 100% believe that her words came from a loving and genuine place, but that doesn’t mean I should’ve listened. For my heart, and God, knew the rest of the story. We all have gifts and talents, from those our charisms are born. They are meant to be given away, not locked up in a box for only God to see.
My charism brings me great joy. This time I spend, late at night banging on my keyboard, allows me deep and convicting prayer time with God. But this isn’t about me needing validation, rather it’s about all of us needing it. Even more so, it’s about us affirming other women when we see God at work – loudly and often. Women tend to, um, hold on to stuff don’t we? All those comments, those judging eyes, those quick brushoffs – they add up until we can no longer see the beauty God has created within us.
The beauty He desires for us to share with the world.
It’s taken me 18 long months to walk away from that conversation, to heal from those words and to recognize that they were not of God. We’ve all been there. We’re human, after all. We’ve been the receiver, and the giver, of hurt. There is no shame in asking for forgiveness. We have to know every day we won’t be perfect, but we can be good enough to let God fill in the gaps.
He always does.
So, to all you women out there struggling with self-doubt and worry and fear: you are enough. God really, truly, wants you to share yourself with the world.
Go be a St. Catherine and set the world on fire. She’s pretty badass. And so are you.