Yeah, I thought I’d be the *fun* mom and take my kids to the library the first week school was out. We were gonna slay that summer reading program. And then we didn’t. Twenty minutes after arriving at the library we left with five crying kids, a near ER visit, a scolding, zero books and a very exhasperated momma. This is good, keep reading.
It was a really pretty Tuesday morning. Not too hot, a light breeze and a decent night’s sleep for the Whitaker 5. Winning. We’d had a quick breakfast, everyone was showered and ready to go, so we loaded up the van and ventured to the nearest public library. To be fair, it’s not my most favorite library, but the kids’ section is decent and we know how to find the books we want. We were armed with everyone’s “wish list” and felt confident this would be a glorious morning.
The first way to ruin your library visit? Allow your fourth child to scamper ahead and place her hands right on the sliding glass door. Then, right behind her encourage child #2 to activate the automatic door, thus pinning child #4’s hands between the two glass panes. Yeah, no awkward stares from all the other patrons there. I was already calculating the drive time to the ER. “Please don’t let them be stuck” I kept saying. A firm pull and I freed my little chick, but not without a boatload of screaming and more staring. Sigh. Surely it can’t get worse, right?
The second way to ruin your library visit? Walk up to the computer and just as you type in the first search criteria, pray the computer freezes, then locks down. Oh, and don’t forget to encourage the baby of the family to just start pulling books off the shelves. It’s so much more FUN that way. Who needs to look them up, when one of your kids can just pull the whole lot to the middle of the room?
The third way to ruin your library visit? Go stand in the very short, but ridiculously long wait time of a line to get someone to unfreeze the computer. While you’re standing there, be sure your kids pull on the ropes that separate the lines of people. You get bonus points if they knock them over and more people stare.
The fourth way to ruin your library visit? Stand in that line for ten minutes, then walk back to that *awesome* computer only for it to be working when the library guy clicks the mouse. You’ll feel SUPER smart. By the time you figure out how to work it, you’ll spend ten minutes typing in all the books only to realize NONE of them are at this library. They’re just a short 15 drive away to the other public library.
And, the fifth way to ruin your library visit? Finally locate two books, head back to the line, wait ten more minutes and then – wait for it – the librarian will tell you that your card has expired.
That, my friends, is how to make memories with the kids. We finally threw in the towel and got drinks at Sonic to drown our sorrows. But, not without this gem from my oldest: “Well, that was a crummy way to start the summer.”