Some days, especially lately, we are starting to see glimpses of light at the end of a very long tunnel. In tomorrow’s post, I’ll explain what the glimpses of light are and what challenges still lie ahead.
But, today I’m just really, supremely perturbed with medical bills. That, and absolutely exhausted. You see, I’ve been poring over bills, EOBs (explanation of benefits), our insurance coverage and what IS and what ISN’T covered, our bank statements – all of it – for So. Dang. Long. Just when I think we’ve finally hit the end, I get two bills in five days that have way, way too many zeros at the end. With eight specialists, five surgeries, a bazillion therapy appointments, follow-up visits and hospital stays, it was bound to catch up to me.
I am so frustrated. And so tired. This is the really, really horrible reality of a having a child with special needs. The scarier part is I wonder how long it will last. The even scarier part is nobody knows. I recognize and rarely forget that there is mom crying in her office today not because of the mounting medical bills, but because she has no baby to kiss. No baby to love. No baby to play peek-a-boo and read books to every evening. That is a reality I need to be reminded of on this day.
Yes, I’ll fight the good fight. I’ve made huge headway on my medical billing knowledge, I’ve hung up on creditors, gone through boxes of Kleenex, negotiated payment terms, talked to supervisors and held out for what I know is right. It’s just that some days are hard.
Today is that day.