Scott did a great job of giving you the skinny of how the day went down. Man, and I was just hoping it was a simple well check. So much for hoping 🙂
When I got the news from Dr. Meyer (I knew he was going to admit Luke to the hospital but I didn’t want trust my instinct), it didn’t go over too well. As Luke and I walked to the car to drive over to Dell and get checked in, I so wanted to get in the van and drive home and make it all better. How? I have no blasted idea. I’m just telling you how I felt.
I allowed myself a few seconds of freak out in the van, then we sped off to the hospital to radiology. Again, with the freak out while Luke was WAILING his head off. It was breaking my heart. A part of me wanted for the radiologist to say, “Oh, everything looks great. You can head home. Dr. Meyer doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” My mom instinct knew better.
We left radiology and scored the last room (for real) at Dell. The nurses needed to start his IV and for a split second I almost didn’t let them. If you remember from my earlier blog posts, Luke is a tough stick. He has super tiny veins that tend to blow. We always end up calling in the PICC team or paging the NICU nurses. Why I did not put on my big girl panties and stand up for Luke I don’t know. I let them give it a whirl. While they ushered him off to another room, I called Scott in tears. He reminded me where those underwear were, I quickly put them on and marched into that triage room. Damn. Twenty seconds too late. But, just as they got ready to stick again, I held my ground and the PICC team arrived five minutes later. Score one for Luke and a big lesson learned by mom.
I am Luke’s greatest advocate. Standing up for what I KNOW is right is always ok. Oh, and I used my sweetest southern twang. If you make an enemy with a nurse you might as well dig your own grave.
After the PICC team did their magic, I returned to the room, turned off the lights and cried. Cried a lot. Cried because I know how excruciating the “watch and wait” game can be. Cried because I am tired. Cried because I hate seeing Luke in pain. Cried because…just because. Five minutes later I felt better and I’ve never looked back. Had to get that out of the system so I could look forward with optimism. That is the Holy Spirit’s gift to me, I think.
Day two…here we come.